Until You
by Stiffanie
Summary: Kyo ponders his feelings for Tohru


Until You  
- a "Fruits Basket" fanfic  
- by Stiffanie Flores  
  
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Takaya Natsuki.  
  
SPOILER WARNING: If you have not seen up to episode 26 of Fruits Basket,  
beware that the ff fanfic contains major spoilers!!!  
  
***  
  
I would never belong  
  
Even in the Souma family, I am the outcast. I can never belong in the  
Juunishi. But there is another side to the Cat curse, a far worse fate than  
being barred from exclusive New Year's parties. Because only the child born  
in the Year of the Cat is cursed with the twisted, skeletal monstrosity of  
the Cat spirit.  
  
Fortunately, the black and white beads around my wrist lock the cursed form.  
I can hide it forever, as long as I wear the bracelet. The normal cat body  
is not so bad. At least people, even my relatives, do not cower in fear of  
it. But even my own mother could not stand to see my ugly body. I do not  
blame her. Even if she did not fear me, she could never accept that part of  
me.  
  
The only friend I had was Kagura. She was my older sister, the only person  
who would hold my hand when I was alone. Even if she chases me around like  
a psychotic wannabe fiancee, I will never forget that.  
  
And then my parents died. My relatives talked about me as if I wasn't  
there, pretending to be sad and sympathetic, but I could hear the underlying  
cruelty behind their words. No one wanted anything to do with me. Until  
Shishou. Kind, gentle, smiling Shishou. I owe him everything. He was like  
a father to me. In my heart, he IS my father. But I could never tell him.  
Not until I become a worthy son.  
  
I settled everything with my fists. My constant rivalry with Yuki was as if  
to prove to myself that I was no less than he. Anger was the only emotion I  
trusted. I did not bother to control my emotions, because I didn't have any  
friends. Aside from Shishou and Kagura, I never thought there would be  
anyone who would accept this other side of me. Not even you. Especially  
not you.  
  
I don't know how it began, but you're a part of our lives now. You fill our  
home with warmth and comfort, brighten our lives with your smiles and gentle  
encouragement. Your kindness, your unique idealism, has touched our lives,  
and the lives of other Juunishi, so deeply. Why is it that we are all drawn  
to you? Could we have hoped that you could save us from our fate?  
  
I've spent my entire life not knowing you exist, but without realizing it, I  
've drawn comfort from your presence, the way you stand beside me, offering  
a smile and a plateful of treats. You're naive and clumsy, and I find  
myself worrying about you falling down the stairs or being taken advantage  
of by unscrupulous people. But despite all that, I always find acceptance  
in your warm encouragement, and strength in your unwavering faith.  
  
More than ever, I lived in fear of my secret being discovered. No one could  
possibly love me after that. Especially not someone as sweet and innocent  
as you.  
  
The first time I transformed in front of you, I kept my eyes on your face,  
as if stunned in morbid fascination. My eyes watered as the air filled with  
the scent of burning flesh. I felt my body stretch and tighten, as if being  
pulled in many directions all at once. When I lifted my head to look at  
you, your eyes were wide in shock. And yes, even fear. My ugly body evoked  
that reaction even from you.  
  
I ran, because it was the only coherent thought in my head. I had to get  
away, as far as my legs would carry me. I ran without knowing where I was  
headed, but it did not matter. Because I had just lost the one pure,  
innocent thing in my life.  
  
My entire life flashed before my eyes. My mother, telling me she loved me,  
even though she could not look into my eyes when she said it. Akito,  
staring at me with narrowed, mean, calculating eyes. Shishou, gentle and  
smiling, offering the only kindness I've ever received.  
  
Until you.  
  
You held onto me even as I shook my arm and tried to fling you in the air.  
You were frightened, I could tell even if you did not admit it, because I  
could feel your small body trembling with contained emotions. But even  
though you were afraid of me, you told me you would stay with me. Your  
tears splashed on my arm even as you begged me to stay.  
  
It felt like years of coldness and blame melted away at your words. A warm  
glow spread all over my entire body. I felt your tears streaking my arm,  
and when I looked down, I had reverted back to my human form. And you were  
still holding my arm.  
  
You said you did not have the strength not to be afraid of me. But that's  
not true. Because it would take great strength to look upon the real me and  
still accept me, taking the few good things about me, along with so much  
that was bad. Without realizing it, I reached out to touch you, to draw you  
into my arms, without fear or hesitation.  
  
A hug is such as strange thing. Scared of my curse being discovered, I have  
never reached out willingly to touch another person. It's so much more than  
kissing, or hands linking. A hug speaks of loving and cherishing,  
protecting and comforting... to hold a woman in my arms, to derive human  
warmth from her body.  
  
It lasted for only a moment, before my body shrank once again into the  
familiar orange form of the cat. I had only a moment to cherish the  
feeling, to burn it into my memory as the first time I received absolute  
acceptance from a normal person.  
  
It's okay to be selfish, if you cannot love everything about me. It doesn't  
matter that you were afraid of me. Your fear is proof that you have looked  
at the real me, that you would still want me, even though you have seen the  
worst part of me.  
  
How do you do it? How can you say the things that I need to hear? Why is  
someone like you with me, always?  
  
Perhaps that is why I love you.  
  
You hold me in your arms, your touch as gentle as the morning breeze. I  
feel your cheek pressed against the top of my head, your hands curled around  
my small body. And in your arms, I found peace at last.  
  
From now on, I will cherish you like the fragile, beautiful rose you are.  
Even so, I will never undermine the strength that comes with your gentle  
spirit. With you beside me, I can hope to become a better person, to look  
forward to the future with a heart full of hope and dreams, to live life  
without worry or hesitation.  
  
I will stay, as long as you're here. You are the place I call home. Thank  
you, Tohru, for gifts beyond price.  
  
***  
  
Author's notes:  
  
I've seen only the anime episodes of Fruits Basket, not the manga. Some  
lines in this fanfic were directly lifted from the story. Basically, it's  
just me telling the whole episode again, adding a little thoughts and  
feelings from Kyo. I guess I felt the ending was a little too abrupt.  
  
As always, C&C are welcome and appreciated. Send all comments  
stiffanie@mailcity.com.  
  
- Stiffanie 


End file.
